$500 fine for eating
“Oh! 130 calories in those little things!” I heard from across the room. ”Goodness. Well, good thing I’m headed to the gym later.” Stomach rumbling after a long meeting, I scarfed down some more fruit to hold me over till lunch. I thought to myself, “why can’t a grain bar just be a grain bar?! Why does it have to be construed into 130 calories of guilt?” I grabbed one of those little 130 calorie packages of society-imposed shame on my way out just to spite our diet-crazed culture. And it tasted darn good as I made my way to the restaurant for lunch.
“Have I told you about my new South Beach diet?” “… those are bad carbs. I can only eat good carbs” “I only eat fruit for lunch” “Oh, that’s how you stay so skinny.” “I’m going all out today. Oh, I’m just so bad, but it tastes so good”. Was this lunch or an exchange of self-deprivation tactics? I took an internal sigh of exhaustion. I just wanted to order my chicken apple sandwich and that’s it. How is it that in a society where we have more than we need, we are so obsessed with depriving ourselves? We are simultaneously obsessed with eating food and obsessed with not eating food.
Ironically, overeating disorders often stem from self-deprivation. According to registered dietitian, Francie White, overeating disorders are “repeated experiences of non-hunger-driven eating as a means of ‘medicating’ or modifying an emotion AND/OR driven by a sense of the desired food is forbidden or in limited supply.” I’d like to focus in on the last part which highlights the belief that some foods are “forbidden” or “bad”. We hear this all the time. I heard it during the aforementioned lunch conversation. Some of my earlier posts have discussed ways in which our society convinces us that some foods are “bad, sinful, evil” while others are “good, pure, right, acceptable”.
The disordered over-eater sets these nutritional standards for herself and deprives herself of certain foods. Unfortunately, our society instills a fear-based relationship with food which deconstructs our natural relationship with eating. A fear-based relationship with food says to us, “don’t eat that or you’ll get fat” or “don’t eat after such and such a time or you’ll gain weight” or “those foods are unhealthy”. We are no longer taught to eat what we want when we feel like it. Food is not something to be consumed according to our needs, but something to be controlled, ordered, routinized, avoided. We aren’t listening to our bodies anymore. We are listening to the newest diet fad.
Developmentally, however, we are hardwired in such a way to obsess about foods that have become unavailable to guard against starvation. Strictly removing desired foods from one’s diet can trigger obsessive thoughts, craving, hoarding, and eventual binging on these foods. We are psychologically designed to store up on foods that have been deprived once they become available in preparation for the learned period of famine. This natural response can trigger full-blown relapse in disordered over-eaters when unhealthy diet plans are imposed without addressing the emotional root of the behaviors.
Paradoxically, treatment for deprivation-driven overeating begins with a “non-diet” approach. The individual must learn to legalize all foods and remove the “charge” of forbidden foods. With the help of a therapist and/or dietitian, the individual relearns her hunger and satiety signals, reconnects with her kinesthetic awareness, learns to be grounded and present while eating rather than dissociated, and learns how to trust her intuitive healthy eater.
Finally, a sandwich can be just a sandwhich.
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